My NYC Survival Tips

Over the last week I have started two new jobs, while rehearsing for a dance video, catering, babysitting and as of yesterday all while fighting a cold. Oh, and did I mention we had a little bed bug incident? I have become a jack of all trades, at least when it comes to the restaurant business, and though I hate it, sometimes you have to do things to make everything else worth it.  Anyways, I've learned a lot about myself and the city the last four years, and I constantly have people asking me about New York when they consider moving here... so here are my survival tips. Please don't confuse the 'S' words- I said these were ways to survive, not succeed! I'm still working on the later!

*Comfy Shoes*

- This is pretty self explanatory! Don't let those girls on Sex and the City mislead you- flats, boots, sneakers and wedges are your key to making it through the crap load of blocks you'll be walking!

- Rain boots are a must! No one wants soggy feet, so get a pair and get the thermal inserts for the winter. Plus they are super cute, especially in the summer! Trust me; you will be glad you have them when you approach a street corner that requires a Gondola to get across!

*Sanity*
- Just be aware that you will lose it, over and over and over again!

*Tray Holding Skills*
- It sucks, but restaurants equal flexible hours and decent money. These skills will help you move from one job to another pretty easily, and if you are anything like me, you will move around a lot due to lacking sanity and boredom.
*Splurge*
- There is too much going on in this city to not enjoy it! Allow yourself to have that girl's night or those super cute shoes! Withholding things from your life makes you bitter and jaded, and that will happen soon enough anyways!
- Get yourself an AC unit for your window. It may seem unnecessary and excessive, but you could save a few dollars and go crazy or just get the damn unit.

*Become a Regular*
- I always loved how in movies of the city the character would be walking down the street and the street cart vendor would know their name. It was so silly, but it does happen. Even though there are millions of people in the city, you will see some of the same people every day! So, smile at the doorman!
- Go to the same Bodega every day- these guys will not only hook you up, but they will offer their cat to you when you have a mouse, and help you break into your apartment when you are locked out.
- Go to the same bar every Friday (or Tuesday or everyday). Even if you have one drink, the bartender that you have now gotten to know will be excited to see you. You may get a free drink, but you will also be bringing light to someone who was surrounded by tourists, bad tippers and nasty managers, even if just for a few minutes.  Just don't go and be a creepy stalker and don't go in expecting anything.
- Get to know your Barista. There is a Starbucks on every corner, sometimes two on each, so get to know the people making your much needed caffeinated beverages. You don't have to chat them up, but maybe get to know their name. It will make those quick trips even quicker, and you might even get an upgrade!

*Avoid Times Square*
- You can also add Harold Square and the Abercrombie on Fifth Ave to that as well. The people, AKA Tourists, will make you crazy!
*Know How to Navigate*
- NYC is a pretty easy city to navigate around, thanks to the numbers system! But, be sure you know that Uptown is the Bronx, Downtown is to Brooklyn, Queens is to the East and New Jersey is to the West! This will help when getting on and off trains! Think ahead, and if you are lost, do NOT stop in the middle of the street, move to the side.
- Know your public restrooms. When you are out and about all day, the use of a restroom will become dire. Some places will make you buy something, but in others you can be more discreet. Just think ahead and always make it look like you are supposed to be there, even if you're not!
- Do what a true New Yorker does: Walk, Shop, Eat, Drink, REPEAT!

*You Will NEVER Have Enough Money*
- You just won't. Even if you are Donald Trump. The city is expensive and demanding. So save when you can but don't stress, it will work out somehow, just keep plowing through.
- Even though you know you have no money, there are of course people worse off than you, but don't try to give money to everyone! Half of the people standing on the street are scamming you, and the other half would take an apple if you had it, so keep an extra granola bar in your bag and give it to the deserving instead.

*Watch What Car You Get On*
- Don't get excited when the subway pulls in and the car in front of you is completely empty; this only happens when it is either without AC or when a homeless person is rotting away! Go to the next car!

*McDonalds is NOT Your Friend*
- Don't let the dollar menu and supersize options cloud your mind- McDonalds is not the way to proper nutrition. I lived off of Mcy D's when I first moved to the city, I thought it was great! It was saving me money, and it had options for every meal, and great little snacks too! Then I realized I was fat! Don't do what I did! Don't do it!

*You May Be Bigger Than Them, but They Are Everywhere*
- I'm talking about bugs! It's a dirty city, filled with tunnels and bridges and millions of people constantly in transit. You need to be prepared to see a cockroach in the bathroom, a rat in the subway and yes... deal with Bedbugs. It sucks! It's not fun at all, but suck it up and deal with it!

*Allow Yourself Some R & R*
- The city is grueling and stressful. This place will rape you of your sanity and your money. You need to allow yourself a break! Take a mental health day and if you can, take it out of the city! Go away to the Hamptons, or even Jersey. Take a trip or even just a day to the beach, close your eyes and relax because the second you get back it'll be like you never left.

*Be Nice*
- Even though cabbies don't have feelings, you should still be nice to them because Karma is a bitch!
- Subtlety is key especially with celebrities. You may think you are being nice by indulging them with flattery, but the nicer thing to do, is just leave them alone!
- Smile when you walk down the street. I'm not saying full on teeth smile, but you'd be surprised how refreshing it is to pass someone who looks happy. Oh, and you never know who you're going to pass, it could be your big break!
- Don't burn bridges! Everyone knows each other in this city! You will be black listed before you can say "SJP" if you mess with the wrong person!
- Call your mother- or she will call you. Until you answer. And annoy you like hell. Oh, is that just my mother? Ok then, use when necessary!

*Happy Hour*

- This will be the best thing that has ever happened to you. Cheap drinks, discounted tapas and men in suits looking to impress! When all is said and done you are home and in bed (drunk) by eleven and have spent half as much money as a crazy night out!

*Tip Properly*

- Considering you will most likely work in the service industry at some point, it's a matter of karma. Tip your bartender, your cabbie and even your doorman. Trust me, they will be nicer to you and life will be easier! Think of 15% as being the bare minimum, 20% should be standard, and of course give more when deserved!

*Love Your Gays*

- Everyone has a gay best friend, but these fabulous people make the essence of the city. They have the best clubs, they always love to brunch, they never lie about clothes and hair, they love to gossip, they will never ever let you drink alone, they always enjoy a Barbara or Liza sing-a-long and they truly appreciate your breasts! Not only are they fabulous but they make you more fabulous when you are around them! (And if you ask nicely, they will usually make-out with you too!)

*F-R-I-E-N-D-S*

- Make them. Love them. Appreciate them. Be good to them. Good friends are hard to find and in NYC they become your family. Having people that make you happy and laugh, that kick you in the ass and hold your hair back when you puke are the only way you will make it day to day in this city. So if you thought you could do it alone, good luck, I'll be out with my girls!

The Russian!

I. TALKED. TO. FUCKING. BARYSHNIKOV!

Living in NYC and working in restaurants I've had my fair share of celebrity run-ins. But I only use the word 'met' when said person and I have exchanged words, when my presence has actually been acknowledged. I don’t care if I was possibly a mirage in their drunken state or even if they never fully focused on my face! They looked at me and said words (most of them coherent) to me!

 

My most recent fabulous NYC celebrity moment was with the most famous dancer in the world (and he's so pretty). He looks just as good as when he was on Sex and the City. If you haven't caught on yet, I met Mikhail Baryshnikov. I told my sister who I met and she was like "who?” UMMM, Google him! If you are not in the dance world you might remember him as the sexy Russian who was Carrie's love interest in the last season of the show, who whisked her off to Paris and never showed her the love she was longing for. Well he was sexy on that show and he's just as sexy now! Not a tall man, but a good looking one! It would have made it all even better if I saw him dance in person, but this was good enough.

To him, he was just another person, but to me he was BARYSHNIKOV! He was cordial and sociable. He wished me a good rehearsal and a beautiful day! I would have preferred to have not looked like a fat, shmucky dancer in soccer shorts and a TEXAS t-shirt, but it didn't matter! He was there; I spoke with him and got to add another fun name to my list of run-ins!

Some of my other favorites include:

Liza Minnelli- We met twice! Once in a dance class and once at an audition. It helped my former dancer teacher was friends with her and introduced us! She held my hands, called me beautiful and I piddled!

Matt Morrison- I was working the FOX Upfronts where the entire cast was mingling, but he was the one I spoke with! He passed me, took two steps back, stared down at my breasts, and then asked if my tray was for discards. After blushing and being slightly flattered, I remembered I was 'the help' and went back to hating my life!

Tim Daly- He was with his wife and daughter in my old restaurant. He was so good looking and very quite. I was composed, but my manager was not! He insisted we send over dessert even though he refused it twice! In the end he tipped well and left me with an up-close look at his smile!


Stay tuned for more fun filled NYC Celbrity Files!

In Dedication

I know you can barely believe that it's been a month since I've last posted and you can't wait for my usual commentary on life filled with bitter and jaded diatribes, catty bitchiness or self loathing, but you'll have to look elsewhere for the time being. Today's blog is a dedication to friends, family and the little angels that change your life when you least expect it.


I started this blog as a form of release and it has really helped me to work out some of my emotions and feelings. Even when I'm not posting, I’m writing.  This has become a form of therapy; it has helped me with my issues and I’m hoping that now it helps me to come to terms with a great loss.


There are moments in your life when you are tested. Will you sink or swim? Do you fight or fly? Are you strong enough to stand next to someone in their time of need and not say a word? Can you put aside your pain to care for someone who is grieving deeper than you? Do you know how to go with the flow and figure things out as they come along?


I met my best friend close to six years ago, and the day I met her she had her father in tow. It didn't take long to see not only was this vibrant, talented, passionate and endearing personality going to be a huge part of my life, but her family was going to be too! Over the years we've shared many a car ride, built lots of furniture for Jules’s apartments and enjoyed the many theatrical experiences that the city has to offer! I always enjoyed spending time with the 'fam', and truly felt like another daughter when I was toted along to dinners and holiday gatherings.

When I learned of Mr. R's passing my heart broke. Not only could I not imagine seeing his big and bright presence any more (literally big, he was well over 6 foot), but I couldn't possibly imagine the sadness my best friend was feeling. All I wanted was to be by her side and hold her hand. I felt her loss, but I saw her pain. There is nothing more jarring than watching your friend cry and know there is nothing you can say or do to make her feel better. So as I learned, you say nothing. You stand there. You stroke her hair and hold her hand until she either asks you for space or to get her a beer... and of course, you move without a second thought.

I'm not always sure what to say or how to act in certain situations, but I wanted to take care of everything possible, but there was very litle for me to do because of the amazing women who were buzzing around arranging each and every detail before it was even a spec of a thought. These angels were Mrs. R's friends. They were not only thoughtful, compassionate, caring and insightful but truly encapsulated the definition of true friends! Absolutely incredible! I wish my words could do them justice, but there are not enough ways to describe their beauty and grace as they glided across the room to ease the wait of people in line, or they way they grinned and bared it when the creepy funeral home director hit on them, or the absolute love that exuded from their every orifice as they held hands, passed out beers and cried softly when their friend needed to know she was not alone. These women were not only the symbols of unconditional love and friendship, but they were the angels sent down to not only protect the fragile heart of their dear friend but to show her she was not alone. I found myself not only wanting to be these women because of their organization, their quick thinking and strong shoulders to cry on, but the lives that they had created and were living fully. They had their careers, their children, their husbands, their friends, their trips, their fun, their Limoncello and their well timed sense of humors.


Those of us who got to know Mr. R were lucky, and those of us whom were fortunate enough to be loved by him were truly blessed. I will truly miss you Papa R! Thank you for all the car rides, the packing tips, the smiles, the hugs, the shows, the encouragement, the meals, the support and for sharing your love of music with me. What you did more than all those things though was provide an example of what true, unwavering and adoring love is. Each time you looked at your wife I knew I was in the presence of a perfect and soulful match, and now that I see it is out there I will strive to find it. But lastly, I must thank you for my best friend. She is a product of love, strength, encouragement and positivity. She is the best person I know, something she must have picked up from her two fabulous parents.  I promise to take good care of her, because she is not only my friend but my sister!