I started this blog as a form of release and it has really helped me to work out some of my emotions and feelings. Even when I'm not posting, I’m writing. This has become a form of therapy; it has helped me with my issues and I’m hoping that now it helps me to come to terms with a great loss.
There are moments in your life when you are tested. Will you sink or swim? Do you fight or fly? Are you strong enough to stand next to someone in their time of need and not say a word? Can you put aside your pain to care for someone who is grieving deeper than you? Do you know how to go with the flow and figure things out as they come along?
I met my best friend close to six years ago, and the day I met her she had her father in tow. It didn't take long to see not only was this vibrant, talented, passionate and endearing personality going to be a huge part of my life, but her family was going to be too! Over the years we've shared many a car ride, built lots of furniture for Jules’s apartments and enjoyed the many theatrical experiences that the city has to offer! I always enjoyed spending time with the 'fam', and truly felt like another daughter when I was toted along to dinners and holiday gatherings.
When I learned of Mr. R's passing my heart broke. Not only could I not imagine seeing his big and bright presence any more (literally big, he was well over 6 foot), but I couldn't possibly imagine the sadness my best friend was feeling. All I wanted was to be by her side and hold her hand. I felt her loss, but I saw her pain. There is nothing more jarring than watching your friend cry and know there is nothing you can say or do to make her feel better. So as I learned, you say nothing. You stand there. You stroke her hair and hold her hand until she either asks you for space or to get her a beer... and of course, you move without a second thought.
I'm not always sure what to say or how to act in certain situations, but I wanted to take care of everything possible, but there was very litle for me to do because of the amazing women who were buzzing around arranging each and every detail before it was even a spec of a thought. These angels were Mrs. R's friends. They were not only thoughtful, compassionate, caring and insightful but truly encapsulated the definition of true friends! Absolutely incredible! I wish my words could do them justice, but there are not enough ways to describe their beauty and grace as they glided across the room to ease the wait of people in line, or they way they grinned and bared it when the creepy funeral home director hit on them, or the absolute love that exuded from their every orifice as they held hands, passed out beers and cried softly when their friend needed to know she was not alone. These women were not only the symbols of unconditional love and friendship, but they were the angels sent down to not only protect the fragile heart of their dear friend but to show her she was not alone. I found myself not only wanting to be these women because of their organization, their quick thinking and strong shoulders to cry on, but the lives that they had created and were living fully. They had their careers, their children, their husbands, their friends, their trips, their fun, their Limoncello and their well timed sense of humors.
Those of us who got to know Mr. R were lucky, and those of us whom were fortunate enough to be loved by him were truly blessed. I will truly miss you Papa R! Thank you for all the car rides, the packing tips, the smiles, the hugs, the shows, the encouragement, the meals, the support and for sharing your love of music with me. What you did more than all those things though was provide an example of what true, unwavering and adoring love is. Each time you looked at your wife I knew I was in the presence of a perfect and soulful match, and now that I see it is out there I will strive to find it. But lastly, I must thank you for my best friend. She is a product of love, strength, encouragement and positivity. She is the best person I know, something she must have picked up from her two fabulous parents. I promise to take good care of her, because she is not only my friend but my sister!
No comments:
Post a Comment