How Sweet It Is ...

... to be loved by you!



If you live in New York City, especially as an artist, you are aware of how often you need to take a look at your current path and reevaluate. Well, I'm no different. I'm always wondering what I'm doing with my life, I blame my mother for encouraging me to be a dancer! I'm not to the point where I'm really going to give up my dreams of performing, but I have become far more interested in adding choreographing and directing to my To-Do list.


My latest endeavor has been choreographing a solo for a Miss New York State contestant. I was never a beauty pageant ("scholarship program"- Miss Congeniality anyone?) girl, but I love a challenge. Not that working with the fabulous Claire Buffie has been a challenge at all! Claire is not only beautiful, intelligent and well spoken, she can dance (and she's not even a 'dancer'). I've never been involved with a hard-core pageant, so when I was approached to choreograph a solo for the talent portion, I was nervous yet flattered.

The challenge with a pageant is appealing to the masses and standing out! Talents can be anything from singing, dancing, baton twirling, anything- so establishing a stand-out is a little daunting! Claire is a fabulous dancer who excels in stage presence and has a fabulous penché, but a razzle-dazzle number was not what she had in mind! So now, I'm choreographing something full of heart and emotion, but it can't be too deep because it needs to be entertaining to the average eye!

 

Without giving anything away, I'm not about to tip off the competition, we came up with a fabulous solo! Oh, and did I mention it could only be 90 seconds! Not any easy task, but together Claire and I did it and in only a few hours! My best wishes go out to Claire! Good Luck and kick butt!

 

(Since it's always nice to have things written about you check out Claire's Blog to see what she said about me! Then Check out her fabulous photography and get in touch with her for all of your photo needs!)

http://misssoutheastny2010.blogspot.com/2010/04/ashley-becker-aaaaamazing.html

Just Lick It!

Ok... I swear... It's not that dirty! (Well I guess that depends on what you are thinking dirty is!)


I went out for one of my BFF's Birthdays (don't let previous blogs confuse you, I love you Neil), and ended up with an interesting night! I'll cut to the chase: I dropped my phone, my brand new blackberry in pretty light purple, in the toilet!

 

The night started off with a couple of cocktails of course, some chit chat and catch up with some old friends and ended up in the toilet! My phone was in the back pocket of my jeans and when I went to use the restroom I pulled down my pants and out popped my phone into the toilet bowl of the upstairs bathroom of The Irish Rogue! If you are anything like me (poor, stingy, electronically challenged) you take great pride in your possessions and take care of them like they are your children! My new investment was an extension of my arm. I loved that phone and all its beautiful features more than I could possibly express to you. The relationship that my Blackberry Curve and I had was the longest relationship I have ever been in. Three weeks of bliss! But I digress. So, pants are down around my ankles, phone is in the toilet, so obviously in thrusts my hand (into the toilet), and because this is how my life works... it gets stuck (the phone).

So picture this if you will: bar bathroom, pants around my ankles, squatting above a crappy bar toilet (you couldn't pay me to sit on that), purple Blackberry Curve in the toilet, my hand in the toilet trying to fish out said phone. FINALLY, I got the phone out and it was responding to my commands, yet it was oozing water. Thankfully the bathroom had a hand dryer so I did my business while holding the phone under the dryer. But, it didn't look good (for me or the phone).

 

I ran out of the bathroom to my best friend Julia, whom loves me unconditionally and knows me better than I know myself. Feeling comforted in the fact that my best friend would not only be helpful but would have sympathy for me I started crying about my phone's sad condition! She responded by laughing, pointing and laughing some more! After she was done 'consoling' me, she went into helpful helper mode and instructed me to lick the battery that she was now holding in her hand. Apparently this is a 'trick' to suck out the water from a phone battery that has come in contact with copious amounts of water. The first thought that I had was: I don't want to get electrocuted. The second thought I had was: I'm desperate. The third was: just do it.

Yes, I know what you are thinking! I should have probably prefaced that I am stupid, and when I drink I'm even stupider. So NO, thoughts such as: "How would a wet tongue help a wet battery?" or "this battery was in the TOILET" didn't go through my head. So there I stood in the middle of a bar licking my battery for all the patrons to see. Meanwhile I have Julia yelling in my ear: "You have to write about this! You have to write about this! Put this in your blog". Well, DUH, but at the time this was NOT helpful, I was a little busy at the time.


Just in case you were wondering, this "licking of the battery" did not work.  I was told that sticking my phone is a bag of rice would help. And because I carry a bag of rice in my gym bag everything was magically fixed! NOT! (Have you just met me? I don't get tidy wrap ups!). Anyways, not only do I not carry rice in my handbag, I don't even have rice in my apartment and I’m not sure that quinoa would have worked, though I didn't even bother to try!

Though my story wasn't short this is how my night ended with a broken phone and the next day started with a hangover. To clarify: I was drinking when I dropped my phone in the toilet, I got drunk after!

Crazy Cabby

My brother had this game for PS2 called 'Crazy Taxi' and I used to love it. You'd drive around big cities trying to get people to their destinations quickly and score points. Obviously you tried not to kill any bystanders or drive on the lawn but that didn't always happen.

Now, fast forward to 2010 in Manhattan. A Sunday night and a girl with a few glasses of merlot in her and a crazy cab driver. The ride started with him saying "GOOOOD MORNING" (Fuck). I gave him my address, grabbed my new blackberry and started plugging away at Facebook. He wouldn't start driving until he grilled me about Jackie Gleeson and why I never watched The Jackie Gleeson Show. (Um, I wasn't born).

Within the first three blocks, I knew that this guy was crazy. All I could think of is 'how is this going to end'. It very easily could have been the most hysterical cab ride of my life or the one that ended with me dead in the east river. The more we drove the more it felt like the later was the possibility (only me), so I kept updating my status on Facebook with my location and the cab number!


In the fifty blocks that it took to get to my apartment he showed me the weather in Manhattan and gave me a tutorial on how to use the around the world features on his iPhone. Mind you, this was all done while he was hanging through the small barrier (eyes on the road please). Next came the lecture on why I shouldn't get an iPhone: "This phone is bad news" WHY? "Because it's addicting and you will never get work done" WHY? "Because you can watch porn!"... And with that he was driving with his knees, was almost completely past the barrier with both hands on his iPhone showing me a porno in full stream (and I thought half the time was spent buffering).


I'm not sure if I was in shock, or if I was just tipsy (I did drunk dial my mother earlier), or that I just didn't want to get out to hail another cab in the rain (I'm lazy), but I stayed in the car! The guy was crazy! I could have died! But at least if I did, I would have been watching porn when it happened! Oh NYC, you never cease to amaze me!

Is this Nova?

 I've said it before- my family needs its own reality show! We are hysterical! And no, that's not just me saying this; it's all the people that have spent any sort of time with us! In my family we are all very unique personalities, so it's a good balance of sarcasm, stupidity, snarky, silly and outrageous jokes, actions and stories! But, when the 6 Becker's are in one room, anything and anyone is fair game! No one is safe when we are getting to a punch-line, and obviously the funnier one sibling is, the harder the others try to out do them!

Personalities:

Me- In case you haven't noticed, I'm very matter of fact. I call it like it is- then I heighten reality for dramatic effect! I also like to retell stories- sometimes I can be long winded, but I will always leave you laughing. (I’m the funniest).

Allison- She is naturally dramatic so her actions and comments are usually so extreme that either she's laughing at herself so hard (and everyone else is staring at her) or we are all dying from tears and laughter (and she is sulking). It's a rare occasion when both are happening at the same time, and still someone is usually left out of the equation.

Aaron- He is great at physical comedy. He's almost 6' tall and 200 pounds- but the kid can prance or roll or attempt to shove himself into an end table like no one else I know! But, Aaron is also very sensitive, so he's often the only one not laughing at something. Therefore Aaron's retaliation is not in fun or jest, but as shear revenge- usually low blows that are more difficult to brush off, no matter how good your sense of humor is.

Austin- He's the baby, so he's just coming into his funny. Austin's sense of humor is a mix of all of us, when he doesn't get performance shy- but usually he's so stupid that you can't help but get a giggle. (i.e. Rolling around in the snow in his underwear. Stupid? YES. Funny? OH YES. But Stupid? YES!)


Now, add my parents into the mix. My dad and I have the sarcasm covered, so a comedic moment is rarely missed with our commentary. Dad knows just how to push all of our buttons! The best accomplishment for any of us kids is getting him to laugh! His dry humor doesn't translate to out and out 'out bursts' of laughter, so when it happens you definitely get bonus points. And my mother? Naturally she finds all her kids funny (even when she shouldn't) and to be honest, her silly and harmless antics are often the brunt of our punch lines. But she always takes it in stride! Just don't tell her that she is judging you... she gets pissed!



So what do you get when you put 6 Beckers with some family, a few new friends, millions of strangers and rides? The Beckers in Disney!


Here are just a few of our antics:

Allison punched Aaron in the face. He was poking her to get her attention and Allison does not like to be touched, therefore Aaron got it square in the face! I obviously made fun of this ridiculousness for the next four days! Aaron did not find it funny, which made it even better for me!

Is this Nova? This was Austin's catch phrase for the week. He would walk up to a character and whisper in their ears "is this Nova?" to find out if the person inside was Allison's friend to whom Austin took a big liking to! To cut to the chase- Austin thinks he's black, Nova is black, and so they were brothers all week. I'm pretty sure that Austin even shed a tear when Nova had to say goodbye. Oh, I should mention that Austin is 16 years old, so a 16 year old boy running up to a furry creature in Disney is quite a site to see!

You are looking fabulous! This was how my mother woke us up every morning. This was how we left the suite every day and this is how we went to bed every night. My mother said this so much that I put her on a quota! Yes, it sounds mean but if you heard my mother saying it in her high pitched voice you would have done the same. The problem wasn't just that it was annoying, but that it was a flat out lie 90% of the time. Telling me that I look 'fabulous' does not have as much meaning when 2 hours earlier she said the same thing when I had toothpaste dried on my face, bed head and drool on my shirt.

Obviously this is just the tip of the iceberg as far as family stories go! It was non stop entertainment for 5 days. But for good measure I will leave you with this: pictures of us trying to fit into the coffee table (before we broke it)!

[Shout out to Heather, Lori, Jerry, Mary, Jerry, Sam, Sharon, Larry, Sharron and April for making our trip so great! And Nova...duh!]

I Quit!

Yep, you heard it (read it) right, I'm done with the bar! I quit! And of course it's brought me highs and lows, even in only one week! I'll be fine...I'm just dramatic (but you knew that already)!

My quitting came about for two reasons. #1 was that it probably wasn't a good idea to keep working in a place that made me want to poke people in the eye with my wine opener! No it wasn't just my coworkers and bosses, but the customers too. Now don't get me wrong, I made decent (ok- good) money- but it wouldn't be long before I'd be in jail for excessively stabbing foreigners in the eye! I have better ways to spend my time! Reason #2 was that while I was in Florida (more like 30 seconds before heading to the airport to come home) my mom went to the hospital. Long story short, she's fine, she was out the next day. But, it was one of the scariest moments of my life. I immediately realized that life is short and why waste time being unhappy with things that you can do something about? There are enough uncontrollable circumstances in life: illness, natural disasters and relationships, so there's no reason to stay at a stupid job that leaves you feeling depressed and unsatisfied 90% of your time. Once again, I have better ways to spend my time!

So, the day I got back- I quit! Probably not the smartest thing because I didn't technically have another day job (I judge dance competitions on the weekends). But like a friend has always told me: 'sometimes you have to jump and hope the net will appear'. So I did. I wound up with a catering gig (not as great of money as bartending, but it has a flexible schedule, and there's sanity) and some babysitting gigs. Of course freak outs are bound to happen, even though it's only been a week since I’ve officially been done with the bar, but in time all will work out! With my free time I've been able to work out more, take some classes and choreograph a solo for a Miss New York State contestant! All good things and all are a step in the right direction!


In the meantime- Mama needs money! So if you know about any odd jobs or you would like to hire me to clean your toilets- I'm game! And if you're keeping track- get a new job was on my list of things to do this year!

Let's Play Catch Up!

I can't believe how long it has been since I last posted, especially considering it's on my mind (and To-Do List) every day! There are just never enough hours! If someone wants to buy me one of those iPads then I could post more often! It's just hard to carry my computer with me everywhere, my bag is heavy enough! (Are you listening Mr. Jobs? Hook a sista up!) Anyways, so much has gone on in the last month, hence why I've been too busy to post, and most definitely why I'm in need of psychiatric treatment!

Last time I posted I had just gotten cut at SYTYCD (again) - no bigs, totes not bitter! After that I spent the week in Disney World with my family. In case you didn't know, my famous sister (only sister) whom I often speak of works there. Works totally doesn't do it justice... she is a dancer at Hollywood Studios and dabbles in character work (but don't ask me which ones...it's a secret!). When I got back: I quit my job at the restaurant. Went into financial panic mode (cue psychiatric treatment and generous donations, ahem Mr. Jobs). I was in a cab with a crazy driver who showed me porn. Got a job catering. Freaked out about my weight (I know, this is nothing new). Went to some auditions. Got cut from some auditions. Bought some shoes. Did a mini cleanse. Cried a little. Fell in love with Parenthood. Caught up with some old friends. Made some new friends. Got pissed at old friends for not telling me what they are doing with their famous selves (Yes- You Neil). Babysat for the first time in three years. Got my ass schooled in a dance class. Wallowed in self pity. Overdosed on Reddi-Wip (don't judge me).

So all in all- your average month! A little bit of this and a lot more of that to come! Have no fear I'll break down the highlights for you! Keep on reading (that's a no brainer)!