I'd Rather Be Single

If you are single and live in NYC you understand the difficulties of dating. One would think that with the millions of men living on this island dating (and sex for that matter) would be available in mass quantities for mildly pretty girls with good personalities. I can attest that it is never simple, and even when you find someone that seems like a potential date or even a fling, there is always a catch! If it wasn't bad enough, I heard the following story, which I warn you now to not read if you have a queasy stomach. So now my list of questions has grown, and so has my Creepo-Radar!




A friend of my co-worker lived in Texas and was out for a bachelorette party doing the whole sloppy bar hopping thing when she met this incredibly attractive guy. He was tall, blonde hair, light blue eyes, amazing build and an adorable smile. They spent a good part of the night making out, and all she wanted to do was go home with him! Each time the girls were leaving to go to another bar he offered to take her back to his place. As much as she wanted to she thought it would be best if she hung out with the party for a little longer. At the end of the night, he said he was ready to go home and asked her to join him. She was just about to get in his car when the bride-to-be came up to her and begged her to not ditch them (like she had the tendency of doing) and join the party back at her place to finish up girls night. Not wanting to disappoint her friend she went home with the girls but made sure to exchange numbers with the hot hot man.


The next morning she woke up with a horrible itch and rash all around her mouth and neck. She rushed to the emergency room asking for an antibiotic and was quickly met by government medical officials. After having done testing on the irritation they had asked her about what types of things she had been in contact with because she had bacteria on her face that was common in deceased persons. The only thing she could come up with was the guy she met the night before. Officials contacted him and when they showed up to his home found... wait for it, get your nausea in check... 12 dead bodies. He had been eating, cooking and having sex with these bodies. He informed the gentlemen that the victims had all been women he picked up in bars, and if she had gone home with him the night before she would have been next!


No, this was not an episode of Dexter, this actually happened to someone. No the details have not become foggy, this is the story. If dating wasn't bad enough before, this will have you thinking twice before running off with the hottie at the bar. So now my list of upfront questioning is as follows:


* Are you single?
* Are you gay?
* Are you divorced?
* Do you have children?
* Do you have a job?
* Do you live with your mother?
* How many people have you slept with?
* Have any of those people been dead at the time?
* If so, did you kill them?
* If you do like to kill your dates, do you plan on eating me too?


What is this world coming to? On that note...I need a date for February... Hot Psychos Need Not Apply!