Why You Gotta Steal My Shit??

If you remember from some of my earlier posts, I have a fabulous new apartment in NYC! This place is a HUGE, and I mean HUGE, step up from my last apartment. It's on the upper west side, on a generally quite street, cute neighborhood, right by Riverside, Morningside and Central Parks. The building itself is pre-war, elevator, twelve floors, kept up rather well, hardwood floors, high ceilings, big windows and quiet neighbors. I haven’t really made friends with people in my building, but we have definitely been cordial with everyone we have ridden the elevator with or walked in the front door with, except for the lady that purposefully shut the door on my face at 7:30 in the morning, on my first full day in the apartment. I was wheeling in two huge suitcases, a laundry bag and a bag of groceries, but because I tried to follow her in instead of getting out my keys and pretend like I was capable of doing so at that moment, she shut the door on my face and said "I don't know that you live here!!" I'm all about safety lady, but who the hell is gonna try to move in to the foyer of your building while pulling two VERY large PINK suitcases and a bright purple lululemon bag? O and by the way, your kid isn't cute, and it's NOT acceptable that you are wiping his runny nose with your bare hands!




I know that there is definitely an age range of people in the building. Like I just mentioned, a lady with a kid, there's an older married couple, a cute old gay guy, an older woman that you can tell was quite the hottie in her youth, but probably has 3 cats now and a handful of Colombia students. The question is...why on earth would they steal my package? The rent is enough in that building that we should feel like good people who take pride in their residencies would live there. I've never seen any sign of disrespect from anyone in the building to anyone else in the building. And I certainly haven't been there long enough to really piss anyone off! So why would my package have gone missing?



Saturday I was at work until early evening, came home, checked the mail in the mailbox, went to get on the elevator and saw a brown package from USPS sitting on the table, but wasn't expecting anything so I didn't bother to check the name. I came down about 2 hours later and was in a hurry to get to the train, but thought I should check the names on the package that was still sitting there and it was for me! I was running late but thought, 'oh, I’ll grab it when I come back!' Well, I came back about 4 hours later (now it's about 12:30am) and the table was empty. Not only was my package not there but the papers, magazines and other unclaimed mail were gone as well. I just assumed that my super cleaned up the garbage and that my package would be outside my door. It wasn't. The next day I worked all day but I figured that once Monday rolled around and since it would be regular mail hours that he would put it back out on the table.

After coming home again from work today my fabulous little package which is from my mom, wasn't on the table and it wasn’t upstairs by my door. In a little bit of a panic I called my super, he not only said he didn't have it but was so fricken rude, and I mean Russian rude. He was condescending and said 'someone must have took it'. NO SHIT! He tried to clarify that he meant the Post Office must have taken it back since it had been unclaimed. Yeah! Right! The post office wanders around the upper west side apartments at 10pm on a Saturday night to take back any packages that might have been sitting inside of a double door locked apartment building! BULL!

So now I'm pissed, and I'm sad, because someone has my package and that person is not me. It's a crime to take someone's mail, though you can never really prove this and people rarely get caught! I just want my damn package, which did I mention is from my mom? My amazing mother that still sends me shit even though I've moved out of the house! I hate you sir who has stolen my polar bear candle! It doesn’t matter that it's super cheesy, it's mine and I want it back! So give it up!