I Don't Wanna, and You Can't Make Me!

I have one thing 'academically' speaking, left to do in Miami and I just don't want to do it. Part of the deal that I made to myself was to get my shit together and start making changes in my career, because what's the point in going on the same way I’ve been for the last three years, and have no results!

But I just can't sit down and write a decent letter explaining to performing agencies why they need to sign me. I should be doing it right now, but I'm watching The West Wing and writing this blog instead. How do you convince someone that you are special and worth representing, when you don't believe it yourself? Ok, that's pessimistic. I am special, I'm a dedicated and talented performer, incredibly well versed in many dance techniques, and most definitely the hardest worker these people will ever come across. I am a quick study, I take direction well, I don't sass back (I have a blog to do that now) and I'm passionate! I put 100% into all that I do, yet somewhere down the line I started to think I just wasn't good enough.

Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely good enough to be one of the best in the audition room and make it to the final cuts, just not good enough to actually get the job. I'm good enough to work with reputable choreographers and directors for free, just not good enough to cast when the production is fully funded. I'm good enough to offer teaching, directing and choreographing jobs to, but not good enough to actually collect on those offers.

As performers we go through A LOT of shit. Every day we get up early, curl our hair, slather on so much make-up we could be borer-line drag queens, squeeze our bodies into tights and spandex, only to be told we are too tall, to fat, too white, too young and basically not good enough. You go in as a character; they ask you to be more yourself. You go in being confident and comfortable as you, and you are just not what they are looking for. It's a hard thing to accept at the beginning, but it's the nature of the biz. What happens though when you're not a newbie anymore? Do you keep telling yourself that it's just a matter of time? Or do you stop, take a look at yourself in the mirror and admit defeat?

I sit on my couch writing this, basically putting myself near tears. I remember all these feelings, so much so that I'm starting to question my recent decisions. The difference now though is that I TRUST myself. I trust myself enough to know I wouldn't be doing this if I wasn't just as capable as all the people that have the jobs I want. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't have the strength and courage to put myself out there every day. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't know that I deserve this!

My name is Ashley Becker. I am a dancer. I can do this. I will do this. So either help me out, or watch out and get out of my way.

(my pouty face compliments of clipartof.com)

It's Always the Same...FAME

I was attempting to change the words to the song and give a cute snappy title with this blog's title, I can admit defeat! Anyways, I'm glad that I can finally talk about the re-make/re-invention of the early fall movie musical of 2009. My mom has now given me her opinion, so it is free for me to talk about!


The beauty of the storyline is that if you are an artist, know an artist, or ever had any interest in becoming a performing artist the story is universal throughout the decades. Fortunately, we escaped the bad spandex (trust me, there can be a good kind!) and haphazard dance sequences that the 80's were famous for, AKA Jennifer Beal's 18 edited pirouettes that were actually done by...A MAN!

The new FAME has an unknown cast with the added bonus of vibrant supporting characters such as Megan Mullally, Kelsey Grammer and Bebe Neuwirth. The beauty in these unknown artists was that they were actually talented. In the typical fashion of dance oriented movies the actors usually can't...act, but I was pleasantly surprised in the capabilities of these young artists, especially Kherington Payne and Paul McGill. I think it did help the newcomer Kherington, who was first noticed on the 4th Season of SYTYCD, that her prominent acting moments were short and sweet, but when there are as many short stories going on that were in this film it's to be expected.

Some of my highlights:

*Megan Mullally takes her voice class to a karaoke bar, she hops up on stage! I love her voice, but I was disappointed in the song choice and the simple fact that I couldn't actually understand the lyrics.

*I was impressed by newcomer Naturi Naughton, who is the prominent female powerhouse who breaks out from behind the comforts of her piano to be in the spotlight. Best part about her was that they didn't make her actually sing 'Fame' IN the movie!

*I really enjoyed the Halloween Party/Dance. It was a great way to add some quirk to the movie, and give us another fabulous dance sequence.

*And of course there is the famous music/dance break in the cafeteria where everyone starts dancing on the tables and the dancers just so happen to have on their tap shoes. This totally happened in my High School! Yea Right. But I'll admit, it still makes me smile.

I'm sad to see that the response to the movie hasn't been all that exciting. I am basing this on word of mouth and the fact that I was sitting in the theatre alone opening day (it was 11am). I know to most it is a cheesy story with a bunch of kids bopping around the streets of New York City. But that is the immature eye. This movie represents those early and formative years of hope, passion desire, naïveté, heartbreak and those little bits of success that you hold onto in those days that make you question everything around you. for the two hours that I spent in the theatre watching these people doing not only what I want to do (dance, make movies) I was reminded why I do it... because if you can help it, why would you do anything else?!

You Mad Me Love You (i didn't want to do it)

There are a lot of things that I love in this world; friends, family, dancing, laughing, TV, Allison Janney, vodka, rum, tequila...), but there are two things that just make me all gooey inside, and that is Peanut Butter and Shoes! Sadly, it is somewhat of a love/hate relationship between my body and these fabulous gifts from God!

I could eat Peanut Butter every day, all day! I put it in my yogurt and on my toast. I eat it straight from the jar. I like it in my ice cream and on my rice cakes. I can't get enough, and even when I have, I'll continue to eat it! But sadly I think the time has come for me to put down my spoon and walk away. I have all these weird ailments, that we are not going to get into, but one of which I think is caused by my peanut butter/nut category as a whole addiction. I never thought I would be as sad as when I learned I may be a peanut allergy/intolerance. BOO I say, BOO! I didn't want to love Peanut Butter, especially the extra crunchy kind from Peter Pan, or the flavors from the Peanut Butter Company (Cinnamon Raisin: I heart you), but I do, and now my heart is sad that we must part ways. Tear.

Another love of mine is shoes! I was never the 'Carrie Bradshaw' shoe addict until I found two things: Steve Madden and the discount scratch off! For those of you who have not been as lucky as I have, there are certain days that the Steve Madden store will hand out little scratch off cards valued at different discount prices, so whatever you scratch off is yours for the day to use towards your purchases! GENEOUS! I now want shoes ALL the time. I look online, I stop by the store, and I stalk girls in the ladies rooms to ask them what they are wearing! The day I own a pair of Christian Louboutins, is the day I will run down the streets naked with just my fabulous gift from the heavens on my feet! The problem is therefore in two parts: my lacking budget for such wonderful things, and the ability to wear these 5" beauties for longer than 20minutes. Want to know why all the hot celebrities are sitting at the trendy clubs? It's because if they attempt to stand up for longer than the time it takes to walk to the restroom, pee, and come back their ankles will snap in half! But we girls will continue to buy these empire State Buildings of foot wear because our legs look SO HOT in them! So what if we are shortening our Achilles tendons and can barely get out of bed the next day! When you're hot your hot!

So, even though my body says no: you made me love you peanut butter and sexy shoes, and ok...I did want to do it!

(courtesey of ilovepeanutbutter.com)
(those are my pretty shoes, courtesy of stevemadden.com)

I'm in Miami, B*!%#

I had someone tell me today "Miami is like Vegas, what happens here, stays here!" Well, she was talking about a dress, but even that doesn't begin to touch the differences of Miami and my home of NYC. I've turned my living here into a social experiment, partaking in activities of the 'locals'. I don't do that tourist crap (except for taking picture of Ocean Drive, the old time look of the hotels is gorgeous).

Here are some of my findings, the good, the bad and the skeezy!

First difference would be the act of the greeting. In New York, we are very social people; everything about that city screams interaction. I never would have thought myself unfriendly until I started to meet people down here. In New York it is standard to shake hands with someone upon an introduction, down here, that handshake turns into a pulled in hug/shake with a kiss on the cheek. It doesn't matter who you're meeting, guys, girls, gays or your friends parents...there will be a kiss, so instead of looking shocked, embrace it! Personally, I'm a hugger/cheek kisser, so I love it! But I have noticed that my handshakes/hugs are slightly too aggressive for the social graces and pleasantries of Miami.

Next would be the acceptable social hours. In New York, time is of the essence, you get up early, max out your day to the second with meetings, social gatherings, errands and allotted transportation time. Even though the bars are open until 4am it is not unlikely to find a New Yorker max themselves out at happy hour and happily in bed by midnight. In Miami, midnight, is the starting hour. You can't even begin to contemplate leaving for a night on the town before 1130 at the earliest, and being home before 4am is considered a slow/early night! I don't know where I muster up the energy, but somehow I’m able to sustain social functioning capabilities, unfortunately, I'm then out of commission until at least 10:30am the next day, which for me is a waste of the early hours!

Now we move on to wardrobe! Something I've noticed in general no matter what city you live in is that women invest thousands of dollars on their wardrobes: shoes, dresses, skirts, shirts, bathing suits, purses and jewelry to name a few, yet no matter how much time and money exist in the space of their closet, women will ALWAYS borrow from a friend when going out! I am NO different! I packed two suitcases to the brim to come down to Miami, filled with all the objects I thought were Miami appropriate, yet the past two weekends I have worn at least one object that belongs to my roommate, leaving half of my personal clothes untouched. Like I mentioned earlier, I was shopping in this boutique on Washington and picked up this fierce metallic/silver leather looking studded dress to which my response was 'If I ever was able to get away with wearing this dress, I would buy it now', to which the salesgirl responded 'But of course you can, you're in Miami, it's like Vegas, what happens here stays here!' Fortunately for me, well I guess it's fortunate, the dress looked like shit on me, so I was able to walk out of the store keeping my credit card in tact, but therefore opening up the conversation that I needed a completely different wardrobe down here and trust me, there are plenty of reminders of that ever time you leave your apartment. You go to a club and there is always some new shorter hotter brighter more see through top that you just have to have. My favorite thing to do is strike up convos with girls in the ladies room to see who and what they are really wearing! And 9 out of 10 times...they borrowed it from their roommate! It's been fun shaking up my outfit choices since being down here, but I'm seriously ready to be able to wear my modest yet sexy looking cocktail dress to get attention, instead of the near chocha exposing site to be what gets the attention!

And lastly I must touch on the skeezy. Sorry Miami, but I've found a city in which it is harder to find a suitable mate than NYC! There seems to be no winning no matter where I am, but in Miami, I've never been so turned off by the male species. There are certain things that are unavoidable when leaving the safety of your four walled apartment. There is the shouting at by cars passing by, the honking of horns and dirty smiles by men that make me cringe (though this also happens in NYC). But down in Miami there are also vast amounts of small children running around pretending to be adults, I don't care if your 21, if you're still in college then we are not going to be having any further convos because you still like to do keg stands! next there are the men that think they are so beautiful and that they are god's gift to this planet that they think it is acceptable to threaten to beat up a girl and not think I’m going to beat their ass down if they so much as take another step in my direction. And lastly, there are the men that though they may be beautiful to look at, and though he may be saying all the right things, you need to ask him if he has herpes before you so much as have a drunken make-out session. Now THAT'S a buzz kill!

Dear Men of Miami,

Button your shirt. Put away the baggie of coke. No, it is NOT ok that you have less hair than I do. Please warn me if I'm going to be getting the 'herp' from sharing a sip of your drink. And stop being so God Damn Gross and Skeezy!

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Ashley

(representative of the women of the world)

DWTS pays a Sub-Par Tribute

This past week was premier week for Dancing with the Stars (DWTS). I once thought this show was a parade of pseudo D-list celebrities prancing around making for minimally pleasurable television. Now, I tune in regularly and admit I am hooked on the sequins, the mirror ball trophy, and the ballroom professionals who may be better known than their 'celebrity' counterparts. I love what this show is doing for the world of dance, and for these celebrities in need of a career boost

One of the things that I have come to love is the professionals having their moments in the spotlight, whether is the opening numbers, dancing with the guest performers, or paying homage to a true legend. Last nights episode paid tribute to the legendary Patrick Swayze. There is nothing to say about this extraordinary talent that has not already been said. Patrick Swayze was a brilliant performer, a phenomenal dancer and the man that was responsible for one of the most memorable staples of dance history, Dirty Dancing.

I remember he first time I saw Dirty Dancing in its entirety. Until that moment I had only seen snippets including the final scene and the infamous 'No one puts Baby in a corner' moment. This movie opened up the world of dance to me. I was stuck in a bubble of shuffle ball changes, and jeté in seconds until I saw this movie. I learned that dance is not just something that is done, but something that is felt. When I watched Patrick Swayze on the screen in my bedroom I knew how truly personal dance was. He opened his heart for the world to see, he exposed his soul, not just the soul of his character, but his soul. He allowed himself to be vulnerable in this movie that was meant for a singular weekend showing and a straight to video release. He took a chance with his career by filming what could have been a flop, but he took a chance with his heart by opening himself up for criticism and scrutiny in what very obviously was his essence of being, his dance.

So, I guess I'm slightly biased then and nothing could match up to my pedestal that I hold Patrick Swayze and Dirty Dancing on, but I was disappointed by the tribute on DWTS. What was hyped-up to be a special tribute to a legend was nothing more than a three short snippets of well known Swayze-related songs. I enjoyed Chelsie and Dimitri's effortless fluidity in "She's like the Wind", but was turned off by the poorly choreographed amateur make-out session from Jonathan and Anna in "Unchained Melody" from Ghost. I don't care how much you love each other; no one wants to see you sucking face on the dance floor, emphasis on the floor. Fortunately this was followed by the entrance of two of my favorite performers, Cheryl and Tony, though after they recreated the opening segment of "Time of my Life" they fell short in bringing the vibrant and effortless captivity that this scene was known for. The lifts barely got off the ground and the dancers brought in to bring up the vibe on the dance floor seemed uninformed that they were honoring a legend, instead of just bopping around at the school dance.

I think that the man who basically brought dance, especially ballroom dance to the commercial forefront of the entertainment industry deserved a little more pomp and circumstance instead of what seemed like an impersonal mega mix of song and choreography. I am truly saddened by the loss of this beautiful performer and wish that his memory had been better honored by such a huge entertainment medium.


(photos courtesy of abc.com and imdb.com)

Lazy Bones Jones

I woke up this morning at the startling early afternoon hour of 11am. This is incredibly unheard of for me. Especially considering that my alarm was set for 6:30am. I blamed it on needing a little bit of rest for all my hours logged working out, taking Pilates and walking around Miami! I then began to stuff my face with the contents of my kitchen. Now, I know in retrospect what I was eating wasn't horrible, but I started with the mental judgment of my lack of self-control, therefore my lack of self-respect.


I have a hard time just sitting still, but when I finally do I tear myself apart saying I'm not doing enough. Enough of what? And WHY? What is it about our society that can't just allow one to enjoy what is? And what today 'just was' was a lazy day. Though I DID go for a walk around Brickell Key (3 times). When I got back I was all set (mentally) to take my building's kick boxing class at 7pm and to run on the treadmill, until I realized I just don't want to! (Let guilt set in about being a lazy SOB).

I guess there is technically still time to take the class, be it that it's only 6:05pm at this moment, but the truth is, I don't feel well. And NO, it's not from shoving my face today, which didn't help the fact, but it's not the reason. So once again I ask, why do we not allow ourselves to rest without judgment?

I was all ready to be proud of the fact that I was going to nurse my stuffy nose and head cold until I saw the picture to the right. THAT is why we (and by we I mean me) kill ourselves at the gym, and then mentally abuse any self-esteem and self-confidence we may have when we are NOT at the gym. You are a beautiful specimen to look at Miss Edyta Sliwinska; I have other opinions about your dancing, but SERIOUSLY! It is NOT humanly possible for most women, including myself to look like you, but yet we try... and then we cry when we fail!




Ok, so it might sound like I'm bitching about not being genetically blessed, and yes I am, but really I'm bitching because every time I get to a place where I am happy and confident, there is a reminder that there is something better. Any advice as to how we can not let beautiful poster children like Edyta get us down? Because I'm fresh out of ideas at the moment, and currently out of peanut butter, which just makes me even sadder!

Jack of All Trades

I am not a chef by any means, and I am not here to give any sort of cooking advice...but I'm so proud of my new found skills!  While being down here in Miami I have had the opportunity to cook all my own meals.  It's not only cost efficient, but fun!  Now, I know I have a tendency to make combinations of foods that only I, or a pregnant woman, would eat...but they are super easy knock offs of real recipes!

Here's two that I'm super proud of...give 'em a shot!

Quinoa Tuna Salad:
Packaged Tuna (I used the sweet and spicy kind)
Quinoa
Onions
Apple
Romaine Lettuce
Chick Peas
Lemon

Mix the tuna packet, diced onions and diced apples with a little sweet and spicy French dressing (or mustard).
Cook the Quinoa as per the instructions and I added diced onions while steaming.
If the above is made the day before (I used for other meals and such)
mix together and throw in the microwave for a few minutes.
Put Tuna/Quinoa mix over chopped romaine lettuce.
Squeeze a lemon over everything and add some chickpeas if you like.

SOO YUMMY!

Tofu Asparagus 'Stir Fry':

Extra Firm Tofu

Asparagus

Rice (I used brown instant minute rice)

Balsamic Vinegar

Lemon

Oregano

Cut and dry-fry the tofu.  I followed these directions!

While making the tofu, mix the Balsamic with squeezed lemon juice and a couple dashes of oregano.

(I used oregano because it's all I had.  There are other marinade options on the above site).

Throw the tofu in the marinade and let it soak.
After it sits for a while, throw the tofu, extra marinade and asparagus back on the pan.

Let 'sizzle' until the asparagus is cooked to your liking.

While this is cooking make your rice (depending on how long it will take)

Put rice on a plate and add the tofu and asparagus over top.

If necessary add a little more balsamic over top!

So, I'm not Martha Stewart, but it tasted good!  Here's the real recipe.

Follow it with a little yogurt and a scoop of crunchy peanut butter and you will be in heaven!

O! And for furture referesnce, anything with a glass (or two) of wine, will taste EVEN BETTER!

Ok, so here's the deal!

I figured that now is as good a time as any to explain what my deal is and why I started a blog. (Not that anyone is actually reading this, and following me, but for my state of being, here we go).

As previously mentioned, I'm currently living in Miami, FL. The decision to come down here came to me after an incident I had in Starbucks. And by incident I mean my crying hysterically at the counter while ordering my Tall, Non-fat, Sugar Free Vanilla, Chai Tea Latte. And by ordering my Chai tea latte I mean blurting out in one loud breath amongst tears 'TALLuhuh, (sniffle), CHAIahhhh, (sniffle), TEAuhhhhuuuuh'. Yes, I was a pathetic mess, but nonetheless I realized that I needed a break from living in the city. I absolutely love New York, and I think it took leaving for a little while to realize how much. But the problem with living in the city was that I was never able to find enough time to do the things I've always wanted to try. The truth of the matter is, that I was burnt out from auditioning, but was NOT happy with my work situation, and at the time had a sucky apartment life. I was over being unhappy and thought that I might be able to get a better hold on things if I ran away.

I'm probably the most Type-A, Obsessive Compulsive, List Maker, the Best Is Never Good Enough, person you will ever meet. (Or read about). So in order for me to 'run away' responsibly, I got in touch with a good friend, put my stuff in storage, crashed on some couches, and then moved my butt down to Miami. The plan was to work out, rest, read, get a tan, get fit, write, and get my life in order. I'm proud to say I've done most of that, and I still have two weeks left.

So anyways, that's where the blog thing comes in. I've read a bunch of books by fabulous ladies, such as Chelsea Handler and Jen Lancaster, who make money by talking about their lives. Well, I like to tell stories, ok, I like to rant. But I figured that my stories were documentable, and publishable, so I was going to comprise them all and sell a book in 4 weeks time. Yeah, I know, I get these ridiculous circumstances in my head, to this my friends (my fabulous friends) just smile and nod. So after I realized that I don't have any real writing experience, except for a fabulous Graduation Speech ( I was Senior Class President), I figured it might be good to start small, give myself a goal and try to stick to it.

So here my goal! I started this blog with the intentions of writing as close to everyday as possible, about the things that I'm inspired to write about. Sadly, up until this moment they have all been TV related articles, but people I'm BORED, all I have to do down here is watch TV (among the other things that were on my list, but still that's not a lot)! But I promise there will be plenty of dirt to dish about when I get back to the city. And yes, of course, it will be over dramatized, but that's me in every day to day life. To me there are always 157 things to do in a day, and I can get them all done in .2 seconds, and I always think I'm 300 pounds... so get used to it now!
So back to the purpose of the blog... I'm writing in hopes that getting my thoughts down where I can see them I will be able to make some sort of semblance of my life. Weigh out the good and the bad. The serious and the dramatic. The truth from the fantasies in my head!

Here's the plan, plain and simple: Write at least 5 entries a week. (I was going to go for 7, but I already messed that up). I will not include the names of friends and co-workers, unless I ask them, or unless I am speaking and writing praise on their amazing talent. (I will make sure to have their consent). My family is completely shit out of luck with the anonymity though, they are my family and I love them, but there is no way to keep them out of my daily thoughts and feelings, especially the ones that drive me insane! (Sorry Mom). I will NOT mention my place of employment or any former employers by name. (This is not only so I keep my job, but I know that how shitty things may be some times, it's like that anywhere, so I'd hate to ruin its reputation).

So here goes! I hope you check back to see how I'm doing. I'd love feedback, questions, comments, and at times concerns! I would like to say that I hope someone out there is reading this, but truthfully, it doesn't matter...writing this blog is giving me a new way to be creative, and I love it already!

Dance it Out!

In preparation for the upcoming season of Grey's Anatomy, I have been doing what every loyal fan does (especially one whose unemployed and without a life, as per noted in my previous blog) and watches the previous season on DVD.

While watching the previous season I had an epiphany. The world would be a better place if we just turned up the music, and 'danced it out.' Why we haven’t thought of this ions ago I don't know. There is nothing truly better than dancing to loud music, while possibly singing at the top of your lungs, to make all the troubles go away, and add tequila to the equation and no one would ever resort to war again!

That is all. I wish I could add more to this thought but really, it's so simple, just DANCE IT OUT.

Don't fight, DANCE IT OUT. Don't whine, DANCE IT OUT. Do it alone, do it with a friend, do it in a bar, do it in your shower. Just turn on the stereo, let your hair down and jump around. You'll feel better. Trust me, or should I say trust Meredith and Christina, they ARE doctors!

(photo courtesy of abc.com)

The 'Light' is Out

I'm currently unemployed and living in Miami. Yes, I know, the basis for my blog is that I'm an aspiring dancer in NYC, but sometimes, you need a break! I came down to Miami to clear my head, get focused and spend some time working out the thoughts and ideas in my head. (Trust me, it's harder than it sounds...I think a lot).




Anyways, there isn't much else for me to do except run, take Pilates, stalk on facebook, and watch TV. I'm very good at all of those, but especially the later! I don't know about anyone else, but I grew up on soap operas. I didn't go to pre-school or day care, so my mid mornings were spent folding laundry with my mom watching 'the soaps'! Over the last 21 years I have watched each soap out there for at least a week, and of course the best part is that it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what is going on. Someone just got married, had a baby, died, came back from the dead, suffered a head injury, got married while having a baby and suffering from a head injury, or went to the beach! Though I mock, it's easy to get sucked in, if not because you grow sympathetic for the characters, for the fact that they make your life look far more normal in comparison!

One of my favorites just aired its last episode this morning. Guiding Light was one of those shows that I taped while in class and rushed back to watch, or 'just happened' to be on while I was on the elliptical at the gym. Now, it's to be expected that a tidy wrap-up occurs. We as dedicated viewers expect nothing less. The bad guys reform, the good guys get the girl, the whore settles down and true love re-unites the main characters. The series finale of Guiding Light did all that, but I'd be lying if I didn't say it was a little...hokey. They would have been much better off with the 'implied' instead of actually forcing in your face. And I'm sure everyone out there knew/wanted Reva and Josh to end up together, but did they really have to fast forward a year to give us the dramatic effect that it just might... not... happen? Lame! They should have taken a note from Sunset Beach, my former guilty pleasure of a soap opera, fully equipped with an earthquake and a tsunami, even a prime time event, but they knew how to end it. Subtle, sweet, happy for all involved...a tidy wrap up, without all the schmaltz and return of characters people haven’t heard from or seen in 15 years!



With all that said, the truth of the matter is that a daytime entity is no longer on the air. What will possibly replace it? More reality television? No, we're not that desperate! Or, are we?

(Picture courtesy of cbs.com)

So, You Think You Can Blog

I can't think of a better way to start my first blog entry than by mentioning last night’s episode of So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYDC). Not only did last nights audition episode for Season 6 in Phoenix, AZ strike me as a dancer, but one of the more 'touching' stories, is one in which I have a personal connection. I have been scouring the web today, not only as an artist interested in what others had to say critically, but as a sister out to protect her sister from nasty bloggers.

One of the featured performers on the episode was Allison Becker, 21 year old from Dallas/Fort Worth, TX, who was...DEAF. Ok, so, she's my sister. I have on my proud big sister cap and I'm not afraid to show it! As a family member, I thought that it was a great tribute to her hard work and dedication to dance that they focused so heavily on her story. But, I will be the first to say...WE'RE NOT STUPID! Those who know Allison well have been telling her for years to audition for that show! Not only because we find her to be a beautiful dancer and performer, but because when you watch enough reality TV, you know what sells! As a performer I can empathize with the struggle to get your big break, to be discovered, to have someone want you. Allison is no different. What was able to fling Allison into the spotlight was the fact that NOT ONLY was she talented, but she had a story. Trust me...we would all KILL for a story. Especially one that directly relates to her courageousness and strength within the art form. Now, of course television is going to play Allison off as a sob story, but she is the first one to vouch for the fact that she didn't want anyone to know.

When Allison was 16 months old, she was diagnosed with spinal meningitis. The severity of this was going to leave her either blind, deaf, both or would lead to death. If there can be a fortunate side of it, she came out of the illness profoundly deaf. My parents toyed with the idea of sign language, but ultimately decided to integrate Allison into the public school systems and to enroll her in a number of speech classes. Being only two years older than Allison, I was too young at the time of her illness to remember specifics, but one thing I'll never forget was her stubbornness. She was constantly pouting and fighting, and throwing temper tantrums. She would throw the balloons that were used to help communicate through vibrations right at your head. It would not be a surprise to find Allison's hearing aids in her dance bag. And when asking her 'Why?’ her simple response 'I didn't feel like listening today!'

Those in my family feel like it was a 'group' effort to get her to where she is today, but the truth of the matter is...as much as she fought and screamed and pouted, Allison did it because she knew she was deserving of nothing but greatness. Now, Allison is a graduate from Point Park University, with a B.A. in dance, with a concentration in jazz, and is to her friends and family not 'the deaf girl' but 'the crazy girl'! There are some that are able to distinguish that Allison is deaf based solely on her speech, but more often than not, her 'accent' is thought to be of a foreign origin! Her friends often play and pawn her off as the girl from Belgium or Sweden, and Allison, loving a laugh, will play along.

Some of my favorite memories of Allison are inadvertently related to her deafness, because if you know her, even for just a minute, you learn that being deaf is a fact, but not a defining characteristic. She's deaf, not dumb...though sometimes the latter will sneak out! Once, on a routine trip to Starbucks after a dance event, 8 of us girls went inside, ordered our coffees and went back outside. Allison accepted her coffee from the barista who happened to be deaf and then came to the car with a quizzical look on her face. No one said anything, but the look on Allison's face was one of a quizzical nature. Finally, silence broke with this: "Hey guys. That guy in there, behind the counter, he was deaf." "Yes Allison." "Well I mean, he had a job." "Yes Allison, deaf people have jobs too!" Ok, so you might not find that as funny as the moment truly was, it's not meant to be discriminatory, or mean, it just shows that Allison isn't out to be the charity case, or the main story for a reality show. What she is, is a beautiful person, a great friend, a good laugh and a damn good dancer.

On last nights show, Nigel commented that her technique was "not where he would like it to be." Ok, this is a valid point. The facts though, nerves will get to you, especially when dancing on national television for the first time. Allison openly admits to improving half of the dance which I'm sure led to repetition and inconsistency in turns and jumps. Do I think that her solo on the show was her best? No. I may be her sister, but I'm not going to lie! Do I think what she showed on that show was better than what we have seen from people in the Top 20 from seasons past? You better believe it. One thing that I think people tend to forget is that the show is about potential and growth. A contestant definitely needs solid technique to even remotely stand a chance, but aside from contestants like Nick, Travis and Danny, who else exuded perfection? So give the girl a break on the technique shown in her solo and maybe take a second to recognize the beautiful performance that was given. Now THAT'S a rarity. I've seen jumps and turns and kicks and throws to the floor contestant after contestant, season after season. But what is most often missing? It's the heart and soul of the performer glowing out of every crevice of their body.

So, I will continue to watch this season, not only to find the best dancer, but to find one that can come within half of the performance quality that I saw in Allison last night.


Allison Becker, SYTYCD, via YouTube
Keller Dancer's Story Inspires, via FOX Local News