I've been working in restaurants for years, so after a while things start to become 'o-too-familiar'. Stories repeat, drama is the same. I read Waiter Rants. I would say that every waiter needs to read it... but most likely every waiter has already experienced it.
There are some stories though that stick out in my head as far as personal experience goes. Such as when I almost got in a physical fight with a big, black, homeless woman! She comes around every summer when we have the outside cafe set up. Usually she asks for water or coffee, we will give her a plastic cup, and she will leave. But not this day. She found it necessary to pop a squat. Steal fries out of the bus tub. Lick all the spoons in the ketchup. And lastly, curse me out, calling me a 'mother-fuckin' bitch' and then tried to judo-chop my ass.
Then there is the time that my roommate was thrown up against a wall by the chef of our old restaurant. He thought it was necessary to pin her in, scream in her face, then fire her. What did she do to provoke him you ask? She didn't take the fourth refill of bread to a table at the exact moment he asked. No, it didn't matter that I was doing it, she didn’t; therefore physical abuse from the 300lb Cuban man, who just so happened to be recently released form jail for fronting the largest coke trafficking ring, EVER! Mama would have killed me if she knew that phrases such as: 'you better take care of table 42, that's our dealer and you know that he's packing!' were said to me more than once. Oh dear! Thankfully, I got out of there!
The fun times never cease to amaze me in the restaurant business. But have no fear, the fun/trashy stories will begin soon enough, and when they do...I will be here to entertain you!
Bartender Ashley, OUT!
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