And so it begins (2)

Remember those joys of waiting tables that I was going to tell you about? Well, I stepped on the 'floor' (lingo for serving tables in the dining room) for the first time in 2 months. Let me tell you...don't miss it. I was very shaky due to the pitcher of sangria that I consumed (by myself) the night before. Not to mention, I was un-showered, and un-interested. I figured it was a rainy Saturday and that I'd make a good $100, not have to work too hard and be out by 4pm. You know what happens when you assume!


Apparently tourist season is in full swing. I thought I had a couple of weeks until chaos, insanity and mass pandemonium began- but I was wrong. Here are some of the things that come along with waiting on foreigners:

* Blank stares when you great the tables (this is if you are lucky, because the other option is they yell at you because they are 'NOT READY'. My response is 'I was just saying hello, but feel free to yell at me!"

* Then there are the half-ass translations that come from both ends. I work at a brewery. We make beer. We have many different kinds. But when they look at me and go 'beer-a' I don't even bother with types. I bring a lager. If you are waiting on Italians though, they like options: 'blonde, red or black beer-a'!

* Now we move on to food. When in doubt- just say burger. Everything else comes with unneeded stress and confusion in terms of sauces, temperatures and vegetables. Sometimes you can get something out of your non speaking English friends, but depending on the accent 'medium rare' can sound the same as 'medium well'...that’s when medium is a great option!

* Of course there are also some of my favorite inconveniences with waiting on foreign people:

-Water, coke (anything) is served with NO ICE.
- They always ask for 'ehspreessooo', and then will snub their nose when I serve then with a red stir because we don't have demitasse spoons. Heaven forbid they want a latte, because we Americans 'just don't do it right'. Sorry, but this is not Starbucks- but have no fear there are eight right around the corner.
- And don't forget that all the running around and aggravation comes with little to no tip. I'd rather get nothing than get 33 cents in pennies. YES, this has happened to me. I did not find it funny then, nor do I find it funny now.


I used to feel that it was my job to inform and educate the visitors that came into The Pub. But now, I just don't care enough. It's not worth the aggravation, or the loss of brain cells. So Happy waiting, and bring on the Holidays!