I Just Might

I am sitting in my apartment in Miami thinking about all I have to do to prepare for my early morning shuttle pick-up that will being my trek back home to NYC. There are the obvious things like laundry, packing, cleaning, eating the left-over food, finishing the bottle of wine, getting in a few more minutes outside in the fabulous weather. But there are the mental things I need to prepare for as well: returning to work, getting my finances under control, finding an apartment, getting back into the audition circuit, not getting fat. I think the most daunting task ahead is not getting sucked back into what led me to run away in the first place.

I've spent the last four weeks improving my mental and physical health and finding out what is important to me. I can't wait to be back in New York, but there is this air of impending doom that I'm having a hard time shaking. I know it's just nerves, I mean; I have been living a completely different life for the last four weeks. So how do I balance the things I know I want and need with the things I have to do as a basic requirement on living and performing in the city? I don't know but I hope I can figure it out.

I was driving in the car today and stumbled on some of my favorite songs. They just so happen to be from the 9 to 5 Original Cast Recording. These songs were staples of my iPod listening routine before I left the city. I found them comforting in a time of confusion, but I think at the time they left me feeling a little more somber. I heard what I think is my theme song this afternoon, and instead of feeling overwhelmed and grasping at straws, I felt far more optimistic and positive about what's ahead for me.


Here are the lyrics to my theme song:

"I Just Might" written by Dolly Parton for 9 to 5 The Musical

What to do and where to start?

Things are falling all apart.

Trying hard to move ahead,

But keep losing ground instead.

Still, I have to take a chance.

Putting fear and doubt aside.

Had no warning in advance,

Nothing left to do but try.

And I just might make it work.

I just might make it after all.

I just might rise above the hurt,
Though I've suffered quite a fall.

But I have to get a grip.

Hold onto it like a vice.

Have to face the fallen chips.

I just might make it,

I just might.

You're the one that keeps me strong,

You're the shoulder that I lean on.

(Hard to swallow pride...)

When I think I've had enough,

I think of you and toughen up.

(I know the truth inside.)

Love's a weapon and tool.

And I am nobody's fool.

(I'm nobody's fool.)

I just try to right what's wrong,

And just keep on keeping on.

But I just might make it work.

I just might make it after all.

I just might rise above the hurt,

Though I've suffered quite a fall.

I might live to see the day...

I can say "Hey! I'm all right"

I'm all right.

Have to go on either way.

Have to go on...

Rise above it.

I just might be stronger than I know,

Well I might really be surprised,

Gonna get on with my life.

And be strong.

I just might make it,

I just might.

I just might make it.

I just might!

I just might.

(love to my nyc girls, you keep me sane and strong and i can't wait to see you)